Beware The “Little Scorpion” On This Week’s Penny Dreadful

Credit: Showtime
Credit: Showtime

Well if the goal of this week’s episode of Penny Dreadful was to rip out my heart, eat it, and then shred it into confetti in front of my eyes, it succeeded spectacularly. This episode is the reason we cannot have nice things, thanks writers.

New Adventures: The episode begins with Sembene telling Ethan after his transformation that some things become other things and shift from one skin to another. He tells Ethan that he has seen it before, people becoming something else and not remembering. He proceeds to tell a very terrified Ethan what he has become. Later in the evening we start where last week’s episode left off, with Vanessa saying she has to leave London. Malcolm is still livid and his fury only increases when Vanessa promises to tell no one where she is going. Malcolm goes so far to imply that Vanessa does not sense things, which even causes Victor to stand up for her (meanwhile I am cheering “THAT’S MY BROTP”). Vanessa asks Victor to her room while her and Ethan pack for their journey, she gives Victor a piece of paper with her location. She tells Victor she trusts him and then her and Ethan are off.

The Cut Wife: Big surprise. Vanessa takes Ethan to the Cut-Wife’s house, well now Vanessa’s. She asks him if he believes a place can be haunted, in which he responds, he feels like they belong in haunted places (cough you two actually belong together cough).  While pacing the house Vanessa looks at the Verbis Diablo book, but does not touch it, because we all know where this is going. The next day, Vanessa and Ethan go for a walk to collect food and berries. They discuss Malcolm and his happiness, and how Vanessa says they no longer share the hatred that bonded them together. Ethan goes on to confide in Vanessa about how content he was with Brona, but he did not forget about Vanessa while he was with her. He thinks Malcolm will come around and do the same. Vanessa then sets a rabbit trap and Ethan tells her that she will make someone a great wifey some day (and this is the day I died). They go back to the house where they continue to bond and confide in one another, telling each other childhood stories about their fears. Ethan was scared of a horse named Diablo, while Vanessa is terrified of dolls. Ethan then feels the full moon and runs out of the house.

Thunder & Lightning: Ethan determines that it is imperative that Vanessa learns to defend herself, so he teaches her to shoot. Vanessa feels it is unfair of her to be taking his lessons for free, so she teaches Ethan how to dance.  It is at this point in the episode where I have to be resuscitated. A dancing and shooting montage commences and it covers a few days time where we see them get SUPER close. Then a huge thunderstorm happens and lightning strikes the house causing parts of it to go up in flames (it totally ruins a moment). The two put out the fire and then THEY MAKE OUT. Ethan picks her up. They just go for it, until Vanessa freaks out and pushes him away, screaming that they are dangerous (moment ruined, shipper heart in the trash compactor).

The Hound of God: Meanwhile at Malcolm’s mansion, Lyle and Victor continue to decipher the demons code. Lyle mentions that the term “hound of God” continues to appear over and over and over again as the opposition to Satan and the protector of Vanessa. Ethan and Vanessa then embrace during the morning only to be interrupted by a pack of dogs and the Lord who burned the Cut Wife at the stake. He threatens them and Vanessa goes off to the house in a rage. Ethan attempts to calm her down, telling her not to get revenge because it is not what the Cut Wife would have wanted. That night Ethan goes to the Lord’s house to shoot him, but watches as his pack of dogs eat him to death. He knows Vanessa did this and she did it with the Verbis Diablo. He chastises her and everything I ever loved is ruined. He tells her “welcome to the night Vanessa” and storms out. I’ll just be in my corner crying forever.

Lily Frankenstein: While all this fun stuff is going on and my heart is gone, Lily goes out on the town with Dorian. They go to the wax museum where she sees the grizzly murders. Later that night, when Dorian drops her off. She does not go home, but to a gentleman’s club, where she picks up an old man. He takes her to his home, they are in the middle of having sex, that is until Lily chokes him to death (what…the…hell). Well this is awkward.

So that is what you missed on this week’s Penny Dreadful, come cry with me in the comments below!

Ilene Friedman
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