This is it. The final competition performances on Glee. I have always adored competition episodes as they give us amazing covers and numbers that have blown me away. I was so bummed when we only had one competition episode last season, which left me sobbing on the floor.
I am expecting a lot out of the final competition episode.
Who will win? New Directions or Vocal Adrenaline? (We can all agree that the third show choir is not winning. That’s not how this works.)
It’s hard to believe that next week is Glee’s curtain call.
So let’s recap. Shall we?
Front or Back? Things are not good in the marriage of the Warblers and New Directions 3.0. The Warblers are freaking out because Sue has Vocal Adrenaline running over hot coals. Some of the New Directions members are not stellar dancers, specifically Roderick and Spencer. The two of them talk about their predicament and admit that they need Kitty’s help as she is their harshest critic and will probably make one of them cry. Roderick and Spencer get extra coaching from both Will and Kitty. While trying to nail their turns, Spencer sprains his ankle. Coach Beiste declares it to be one of the worst sprains he has ever seen. He tells Spencer he shouldn’t perform lest he messes it up further. Will agrees with Coach Beiste and says he can’t let Spencer performe. Spencer says that this is his decision, he’ll take a steroid shot to help with the pain, and deal with the consequences. At the competition before Spencer gets his shot, Roderick comes running in and says he has an idea.
Rachel’s Choice: Sam tracks Rachel down in the auditorium. The two of them talk/argue about her decision to go back on Broadway rather then return to NYADA. The pair exchange lists back and forth about actors who went to college or didn’t go to college or dropped out and were famous for five minutes. Rachel thanks Sam for being such a good friend, but she will come to her own decision. As she sings out her feelings, Jesse St. James comes in and joins her. After, he tells Rachel he’s in town because his mom is getting some plastic surgery done, and he wants to be there for her as she heals. He also reveals that he would be Rachel’s co-star in the musical (about a graffiti artist PTSD soldier who rediscovers his love of hip-hop?) and tells her to say yes to the role. Rachel says she is thinking about it. She hasn’t made a decision yet. Jesse tells her that Broadway needs her and not NYADA, who prides itself on churning out talent but is kind of elitist. While Rachel nervously organizes for Sectionals, Kurt tracks her down for a talk. Rachel says she doesn’t want to talk about it, but Kurt just asks her to listen. He reminds her they had the same talk last year, and he is going to tell her the same thing: go to school. He wants her to succeed yet he thinks that she needs more grounding, a chance to make mistakes on a smaller scale, a chance to go to school and have fun. He reminds her though that he will support her no matter her decision but asks she thinks first. After Sectionals, Jesse is in the auditorium where Rachel finds him. The two of them talk about their love for show choir before Rachel says she turned down the part. She wants to take a different path and going to NYADA feels like a step forward in a better direction for her. Jesse says he is disappointed that she won’t be his co-star but he understands and offers her a place to stay in New York. Rachel promises to be there in the audience on his first night with an egg in her purse if he screws up. Jesse laughs, and the two of them share a kiss.
The Revenge Of Sue Sylvester: Sue is taking her revenge on the New Directions 3.0 and Warblers combo surprise. She starts by sending them glitter bombs, which Will realizes at the last moment. She has then rigged the uninsured piano to be a glitter bomb, which blows up. Sue has also poisoned the school’s water supply so everyone gets ill. And she sets Will’s car on fire. Why isn’t she in jail?! Like seriously! Send her to jail. Will gets his revenge on her by dressing up as her hairdresser and shaving her head. Sheldon walks in on Sue and Vocal Adrenaline watching footage of Nazi’s marching in the McKinley locker room. Sheldon rightfully tells Sue off because a) no one should emulate Nazis, b) as a trans man he knows what would have happened to him in Nazi Germany, and c) he stood up for Sue when no one would and thinks that there should be some respect between them. He yells at Sue to leave with the kids. After the competition, Sue stops Will in the hallway and tells him that she handed him a win by sabotaging Vocal Adrenaline from the inside. Sue talks in a way that makes me truly believe she’s lying. Will doesn’t “thank” her, and she swears revenge, again.
The Actual Competition: The judges are Rod Remmington, the cranky vice comptroller lady from season one’s Sectionals, and some Westminster trainer and her poodle. First up a weird bird school performs, and as strange third show choirs go, this is definitely one to end on. Next up is Vocal Adrenaline, who do more of a cheer routine then an actual performance. Sue looks pleased with herself though. In the dressing room before they go on, New Directions 3.0 and Warblers gather in a show circle with Will handing the pep talk duties over to Rachel. She kind of makes the pep talk all about her but she tells them to go out there and enjoy themselves. They took it to heart by going out there and having fun. Spencer came swinging in on a chandelier during “Chandelier” to preserve the integrity of his ankle while Myron put on a nude bodysuit with blonde wig like in the music video and danced around in the audience. The judges deliberate and vice comptroller lady tells it like it is. And the winners are…THE NEW DIRECTIONS! (Who else really?) After the competition, the New Directions 3.0 and Warblers put their trophy in the case and celebrate everyone’s good fortune. When Kitty notices Rachel looking at the old trophies, she says that they should add them all in there, which they do to a montage of the various wins the glee club has experienced over the years.
So is Will essentially coaching the glee club again?
Roderick and Spencer’s bromance is adorable.
DID THE PIANO JUST BLOW UP WITH GLITTER?!
Sue has accomplished in cutting all her ties with the people who you know stood up for her? Also you tried to coach a glee club before in season two and you lost then. I don’t even know anymore why are you still free?
Awww there’s a puppy!
Every time Vocal Adrenaline performs with props, it is a sign of weakness. They’re going to lose. Also I hate the guys shirts. The girls look pretty.
OHMYGOD MYRON I AM CRACKING THE HELL UP! HOW DID YOU GET BACK INTO YOUR BLAZER SO QUICKLY?
Vice comptroller lady needs her own television sitcom.
So does Will have a paying job again?
Oh that montage is making me teary eyed.
“Listen To Your Heart” sung by Jesse St. James and Rachel Berry: If Lea Michele duets with anyone it should be Jonathan Groff. He really does know how to coax the best performances out of her. In a season where all of Rachel’s performances tend to blend together, this is definitely a stand out. Also a million times more chemistry then she ever had with Sam. A-
“Broken Wings” sung by The Falconers: I have no clue what song was just sung, but it was creepy and there were wing things? And birds staring in my soul. C
“We Built This City” sung by Vocal Adrenaline: This was definitely a really good song with a fun vibe. Now since this crew of Vocal Adrenaline are major douchebags, I hate to give them a good grade, yet I really do like the song and the performance, but there was an overuse of props. Still Max George delivered a solid vocal. A-
“Mickey” sung by Vocal Adrenaline: This was good as a cheer routine. Which in the original “Mickey” music video was a cheer routine. I just didn’t really get show choir from this? Also the cannons were a bit much at the end. And the tracksuit tribute to Sue was a little creepy. B
“Take Me To Church” sung by Roderick, Jane, and Kitty with New Directions 3.0 and Warblers: Noah Guthrie and Hozier should do a duet together. I am not joking that was amazing, His voice was made for this song like hardcore. Jane and Kitty both joined in at the perfect moments. This was a perfect vocal. Perfect. A+
“Chandelier” sung by Madison and Kitty with New Directions 3.0 and Warblers: This was insane, and I loved it. Both Laura Dreyfuss and Becca Tobin did an admirable job keeping up with Sia’s almost operatic vocals. Marshall Williams swinging in on a chandelier and J.J. Totah in the nude bodysuit doing his best impression of the child Sia from the music video was amazing. This is probably as close to a Madison solo as we’re going to get, and she nailed it. This was just amazing. AMAZING. A+++
“Come Sail Away” sung by Mason, Madison, Spencer, Kitty with New Directions 3.0 and Warblers: And now Styx. I love this song. Again it sounded absolutely great. I get all nostalgic when I hear “Come Sail Away” anyway. The soloists were on point. It was a good end and a solid end to the Glee competitions. A
Next week, it’s time to say goodbye to Glee. See you for the final bow, Gleeks.
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