Oncers, you know I’m a Rumbelle shipper to the core. They are my Once OTP, my ship that keeps me going with this show. But throughout this half season both Rumple and Belle have been unrepentantly awful, him by backtracking to pure evilness and her by being inexplicably moronic. Tonight the Dark One passed the point of no return and while it remains to be seen if the show will be better for it, my Rumbelle heart definitely isn’t. “Smash the Mirror” sure, but why smash my happiness too?
Sister Act 2: Arendelle, long ago. Ingrid pays the sorcerer’s apprentice a visit asking for an audience with the sorcerer so she can get her familial happiness via two new magical sisters. Elsa’s already filled one slot so Ingrid just needs one more “perfect sister.” Returning home, Ingrid’s plan to turn Elsa against her sister backfires because Elsa knows Anna better than that. The two devise a plan to capture their evil aunt in the urn. First they locate the urn hidden in a closet with the frozen Hans (ew). Then Anna is supposed to surprise Ingrid and trap her. This hits a slight bump when Ingrid instead surprises her niece. She casts the Spell of Shattered Sight on Anna causing her to confront Elsa with the urn. When Ingrid tries to force Elsa to freeze Anna in defense and Elsa refuses and is captured, Ingrid rage freezes the whole castle including her niece and future nephew-in-law.
A whole new world: In the aftermath of the flash freezing episode, Rumple arrives to retrieve the sorcerer’s hat from Ingrid. He takes the urn as collateral until it’s returned to him. Eager to get Elsa back, Ingrid is ready to make the deal when the sorcerer’s apprentice stops her. The sorcerer has foreseen her finding a third “sister” and finding Elsa again. So she returns the hat to the apprentice, takes the prophecy scroll and walks through a doorway to a new land aka our world circa 1982.
Rumple to the rescue?: A still magically out of control Emma accidentally injuries Henry when he tries to comfort her. Emma visits Rumple for help and he just happens to have spell sitting out that would remove all of her magic permanently. Horrified at having hurt her son, Emma agrees to it. Plans are made to meet away from the town at sundown and as soon as she’s gone, Rumple crumples up the spell. He visits Ingrid to needlessly taunt her about the plan and trap her in a magical circle using bits of the destroyed urn.
Why does no one listen to Hook?: A bloodied Henry arrives to report he failed in his mission. Snow later gets a call from Emma detailing her magical removal plan. The Charmings are divided about whether their daughter should go through with this plan, with ironically Snow as the dissenter. Hook, having given them the slip because he’s concerned Emma is trusting Rumple, leaves her a desperate confession filled voicemail: Rumple gave Belle a fake dagger. He’s going to collect Emma’s magic and capture her and it in the hat. And he, Hook, has been passively helping/lying to Emma too. Sadly Belle does not emerge from the shop back having heard all of this. Meanwhile, with a push from Regina, the Charmings realize their mistake in not seeking out their daughter and go looking for her.
Bow chicka bowwow: Early on in the episode, Outlaw Queen had an emotional morning after. Not a euphemism people. This is not a drill. OHMYGOD! Ok, keep calm and write. He was all mooney but she got whiney about forever being denied her happy ending because of the storybook. Robin tells Regina what we’ve all been saying about the stupid book: it’s about the past, not the future. But because he wants to be with her, he goes along with her crazy. To help solve the, erm, “mystery” of the storybook, Robin employs Will to browse through the library for something useful. That something ends up magically appearing in Robin’s bag, causing him to call Regina away from the hunt for Emma. It’s a drawing of her and Robin kissing in the pub way back when and the page number is the same as the drawing showing her walking away from the pub. This means her fate could’ve gone in many directions and she’s not bound to one path. Which is…good right? Whatever. The important thing is Regina gets teary and makes out with Robin some more.
Back to the real plot of the episode: Ingrid projects a realistic looking hologram of herself (when did she get this power?) and intercepts Emma en route causing the Savior to crash. For once, she’s truthful, telling Emma that Rumple doesn’t care about her and is only helping her for his own gain. Emma sweeps past her saying, “I don’t care what you say. That’s the truth.” Arriving at the manor house to meet the Dark One, Emma starts having doubts and Rumple skillfully manipulates her, then steps outside to tie up Hook so he can’t stop his ladylove.
No more (frozen) hearts: But it’s Elsa to the rescue! The Frozen Queen talks some sense into Emma and gets her to regain control of her powers. Though he’s bummed about not getting Emma’s powers, Rumple stills comes out ahead by taking the other piece to his plan: Hook’s heart. This makes the pirate Rumple’s puppet for real and it’s his job to get Emma’s powers using the hat. Just as Emma is reveling in her newly managed powers she and Elsa discover the ribbons tied around their wrists. Back in her ice cave. Ingrid tells a sneering Rumple she now wields the magic of all three women. Her mirror complete, she casts the Shattered Sight spell.
- Does the sorcerer’s apprentice do anything other than sweep?
- The last time Ingrid felt happiness was when they were chasing that kite. What was so awful about all the years after that before you went crazy?
- I know I’m going to regret asking this but exactly where did Outlaw Queen enjoy their night of passion? The stone floor of Regina’s vault?
- Emma wasn’t at all suspicious that Rumple didn’t want anything in return? Is this her first day?!
- Did I miss the scene where Elsa destroyed the urn in Storybrooke? Or are we just assuming it happened because Rumple said so?
- Regina to Henry: “I can keep sitting her pretending to read about Wolverine or…”
- Anna to Elsa: “We should probably look into hiring some new guards when this is over.”
- Regina to Snow about letting Emma get rid of her magic: “This could be the worst idea you’ve ever had — and you hired the Wicked Witch as your nanny.”
- Rumple used his honeymoon house for his evil plan? And was going to let Hook spend centuries missing Emma the way he did Milah? And then he took Hook’s heart to make him his slave? Yep, he’s officially the worst.
- Snow and Regina bond over both having slept with married men. Ew.
- Despite my hatred for the direction the character of Rumple is taking this season, I will admit to loving his monologue about himself. He admits exactly what we’ve been complaining about all season: despite doing a lot of good, including sacrificing himself, and pledging to his dead son to be a better man and getting his happy ending with Belle, he’s always going to pursue power over anything else. That’s just the way he is.
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