Once Upon a Time Serves up Some “Rocky Road”

Credit: ABC
Credit: ABC

This guy.

More than the Frozen arc and Regina’s hokey pokey with evil and maybe even more than the Captain Swan goodness we were promised this season, I have been looking forward to seeing Will, the Knave of Hearts, on Once Upon a Time. He (and his True Love, the Red Queen) were hands down the best part of Once’s Wonderland spinoff, which finished its first and only season last Spring. But how will the Knave and all his Wonder adventures fit into Storybrooke? Those of us who watched Wonderland (and you should really give it a go; it’s gets better after a few episodes, I swear) know Will had an apartment in Storybrooke yet no one ever mentioned him or his long absence when he was spirited away via a rabbit hole.

Well tonight, we finally get some answers. Oh and there’s a second melodramatic Snow Queen in town and Marian’s in danger (cue cheering from Outlaw Queen shippers).

A different itty-bitty living space: In Arendelle past, Elsa and Kristoff learn Hans’ army is heading toward them. Kristoff goes a-spying and overhears Hans saying he’s learned about an urn that can capture Elsa. Kristoff reports this back to Elsa and the pair head out, finding the urn without much trouble. Instead of destroying it like she definitely should, Elsa decides she wants to keep it because it might help her find other magical people. This delay allows Hans and some of his brothers to arrive and after a brief fight, Elsa is forced to give up the urn when Kristoff is held at sword point. Hans pours out the contents, a bubbling liquid that doesn’t capture Elsa but forms into the Snow Queen. She’s pissed about Hans’ attitude toward people with magic so she freezes him. The two ladies bond over their shared magic…and their shared genetics. Yep, the Snow Queen is Elsa’s aunt.

The ultimate brain freeze: Robin and his family stop for some ice cream and Marian’s first experience is laced with magic. When she and her hubby attend the new Mayor’s “fireside” chat, she collapses from what I’m calling severe brain freeze. Robin goes to ask his old flame to help his wife. It takes the whole gang getting together before the suggestion of True Love’s kiss is made. Robin plants one on Marian but she remains a popsicle, because the “cold is acting as a barrier.” Instead of just blow drying her face to warm it up, the gang decides to try figuring out who is responsible so they can reverse the freezing. The townspeople, already wary of Elsa and her powers, have already decided she’s the problem despite the Charmings’ assurance that she’s a friend.

A thief and a dairy queen: Charming and Emma go clueing for looks in Marian’s and find Will Scarlet instead. After an unsuccessful getaway, he confesses that while he was thieving during the blackout, he noticed the ice cream in the shop was inexplicably still frozen. They go take a look for themselves and indeed, there’s no generator keeping the goods cold and the backroom is coated in ice. Of course while they’re discovering this Will takes off with the contents of the register. Following a different route, Hook takes Elsa to see Rumple and offers a deal: he knows the dagger Belle has is a fake so in exchange for his silence, he wants the Dark One to help find who cast the curse on Marian. Rumple transforms a strand of Marian’s hair into snowflakes that will lead them back to their creator. They find the Snow Queen but Elsa doesn’t remember her. The Snow Queen unsuccessfully tries to convince her that Anna put her in the urn because ordinary people always eventually fear people with magic. To prove it, she’s going to frame Elsa for Hook’s murder. He’s trapped under a string of giant icicles that are about to impale him when Emma arrives to blast “Dairy Queen” with her own brand of magic and free her boyfriend.

Regina works her magic: Since the Charmings’ failed miserably in their quest to save Marian, Regina does things her own way. Knowing that once the ice reaches Marian’s heart she will die, Regina does the only logical thing, which is to rip out Marian’s heart. She places it safely in one of her special boxes where it will remain until they can cure Marian. Even after Robin confesses the reason True Love’ Kiss probably didn’t work is because he’s in love with Regina, she still promises to find a way to save his wife. Good Regina for the win! Sorry Outlaw Queen shippers.

Captain Swan glides along: In the aftermath of the fight, Emma is angry the Snow Queen got away and that Hook put himself in danger. The couple argues because he feels like Emma doesn’t trust him. She admits it’s not that but she’s afraid she’s going to lose him like she’s lost everyone else she’s ever loved. He swears to always be around and seals that promise with a super hot kiss in the middle of the street. Back in the forest, the Snow Queen and Rumple have a moonlight chat wherein he cautions her about the doom that awaits if Emma remembers her. The Dark One is eagerly looking forward to the moment when the Snow Queen will have to make a deal with him.

Fairy Dust

  • Regina notices Snow added some new office decorations to make the place her own: “Well you’ve succeeded. Hideously.”
  • Tonight’s eye roll-inducing Frozen reference: Archie encourages the overly busy Snow to stop trying to do everything or “let it go.”
  • When Elsa and Kristoff are searching for the urn, they come to a gorge and have to climb down using a rope. Why doesn’t Elsa freeze a bridge across for them?
  • Hook, explaining his cell phone to Elsa: “I press the Emma button and she answers, usually.”
  • Regina brings Henry comic books (Marvel! Synergy!) and tries to get him interested in figuring out who wrote his storybook. She confesses her still confusing plan to make the author write a new ending for her. Henry is shockingly on board and Operation Mongoose is born.
  • I guess Once listened when we asked that the Frozen characters not be related to any of our established characters but the family tie between Elsa and the Snow Queen still felt tired.
  • Even if ice cream in the real world could potentially cause me to fall into a frozen coma, I’d probably still eat it.
  • Tonight we see Belle use the Dark One’s dagger for the first time. At Rumple’s insistence, she commands him to tell the truth about whether he knows Elsa or Anna. He says he doesn’t, which we know is a lie because a) the dagger is fake and b) he at least met Anna in the Enchanted Forest, according to next week’s preview.
  • So can we all agree that Will was the best part of this episode? More Will Scarlet!

 

Stephanie Coats
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