The Winner Of ‘The Voice’ Season Six Is….

Photo courtesy of NBC
Photo courtesy of NBC

Welcome one and all to The Voice season six finale.

Now based on iTunes sales, Josh Kaufman has not having a good night. According to friends, it’s because for some strange reason iTunes was having issues with his singles. Namely that people couldn’t buy them.

So a Christina Grimmie victory is pretty much assured at this point. Making the audience roll their eyes because seriously? Can someone other than Adam or Blake win? I mean I like Blake and Adam’s alright but…yeah. Can we get variety?

I was hoping for an Usher victory this season!

Now let’s just enjoy the nice people singing for two hours. God I’m hoping Gwen or Pharrell can break this lucky streak.

Also we say goodbye to Shakira because this was her last season. After Kristen Merlin getting screwed over, I can see why.

So let’s get this recap started!

Wow. The Voice actually addressed Josh’s song not working. So they’re throwing out the iTunes votes. That is amazingly fair.

Love Runs Out sung by OneRepublic: I like this song a lot. I don’t really know what to say more. The performance is really pretty. I love those dancers behind them. Seriously though this is just a good song to listen to.

Okay I know Shakira is leaving for good. BUT USHER COME BACK TO SEASON EIGHT!!!!

Summertimesung by Jake Worthington, Kat Perkins, Kristen Merlin, Audra McLaughlin, Morgan Wallen, and Ryan Whyte Maloney: This sounds legitimately really good. Oh God I missed you Kristen so much. Even Kat sounds pretty good here. Like all of them sound great. It’s a really laid back song and you know it’s totally Jake. It’s great. I am digging this. This is adorable. I just want to hug Jake.

All Of The Stars sung by Ed Sheeran and Christina Grimmie: NOOOO!! I JUST WANTED ED ALL TO MYSELF! Alright I am muting because already I can hear the goddamn pitch issues. Is it just me?! Am I the only one her voice annoys?! I refuse to let her ruin this song and The Fault In Our Stars soundtrack. Just go buy the soundtrack.

She’s Gone sung by Delvin Choice, Morgan Wallen, Patrick Thomson, Jake Baker, and Stevie Jo: STEVIE JO! I missed you boo. Delvin what the hell did you do to your head? Um the performance is good. But it’s kind of boring. There’s not too bad with it or too amazing. It just exists.

Wait did Kristen win a spot on the tour? That’s awesome!

Oh my God there’s a silly Usher montage! Usher is such a huge dork. I love him so much.

Let The Night Roll sung by Justin Moore: Um. He’s alright. Don’t look at me. My country loving friend isn’t watching and I know jack about the genre. It’s alright. Not my thing. The performance is kind of meh.

Am I Wrong?” sung by Josh Kaufman, T.J. Wilkins, Stevie Jo, and Sisaundra Lewis: Oh this should be good.  Oh. Hot. Damn. This song is fabulous!!!! Josh sounds great. T.J. sounds great. Stevie Jo sounds great. Sisaundra sounds great. EVERYONE SOUNDS GREAT! I’m just going to groove here.

Singsung by Ed Sheeran: I really dig this song. I kind of love this falsetto and the groove set into it. It’s just really fun. MY GINGER ANGEL! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! Damn this is so good. I’m enjoying this so much.

Mountain Musicsung by Alabama and Jake Worthington: I have no clue who these people are. But this is a pretty fun performance. Jake looks like he’s having a blast. And the whole atmosphere is great. I’m enjoying it. I liked it. Blake looked like he had fun. My country friend has emailed me and loved it. Apparently Alabama is huge. So yay Jake!!! Go Blake for getting them.

Umbrellasung by Dani Moz, Deja Hall, Tess Boyer, Madilyn Paige, and Melissa Jimenez: This is…boring too. God these performances are just so boring. They sound alright. It’s just there. It exists. That’s all I can say.

The confessional is back. Josh thinks winning would be amazing. Jake is thrilled to be here. Christina is glad for the journey. Usher calls Josh real. He feels him when he sings. Josh wants to do this for his family. Blake and Jake are totally sweet together. Adam calls Christina visionary and Christina feels the trust from Adam. They all feel grateful and happy for it.

And they win a BRAND NEW CAR!!!! Josh calls his wife for advice on which to get. That is adorable. JAKE IS GIVING HIS GRANDMA THE CAR! I am crying. I love you so much!

Get Her Backsung by Josh Kaufman and Robin Thicke: Ewwww. Robin Thicke? I like a lot. But I hate Robin Thicke. So yeah this blows. Josh sounds great though. But no Robin Thicke.

Team sung by Christina Grimmie, Bria Kelly, Tess Boyer, and Jake Barker: It’s five seconds in. And I already want to shoot something. They all just sound bad together. And it’s driving me insane. Between Bria’s screeching and Christina’s pitch I’m ready to throw in the towel at the point here.

A montage of Jake and Blake bonding is the best thing I have ever seen in my life. It’s freaking adorable.

A Sky Full of Stars sung by Coldplay: I like the long a lot. And I really dig the performance. Coldplay does know how to put on a show. Oh look at the holographic Chris Martin? Is that what that is? That’s kind of cool. It’s a fun performance. I love the stage. It looks so pretty!!! It’s a fun performance with a good song. I enjoyed myself.

IN THIRD PLACE IS CHRISTINA GRIMMIE! HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT!!!

THE RUNNER UP IS JAKE WORTHINGTON!!!!

THE WINNER OF THE VOICE SEASON SIX IS JOSH KAUFMAN!!!!

THE REIGN IS BROKEN! OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD OHMYGOD!!!! JOSH WON!!!!! JOSH WON!!!!!!!

I was seriously not expecting that! Holy shit! YAY!!!!!!

Bec Heim
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