Lorelai Gathers Her “Yes Men” Army In This Week’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

Photo courtesy of ABC
Photo courtesy of ABC

Hello Agents! In the words of our favorite genius-billionaire-playboy-philanthropist, “It’s good to be back!” Thank you to the lovely Special Agent Emmy Rivera for filling in last week. With the mystery of Tahiti getting more complex and crazy by the episode, we get a very welcome visit from our favorite female Asgardian warrior. Let’s join her on the hunt for Lorelei and her “Yes Men.”

What you need to know:

Skye is back: After receiving the injection of the uber secret T.A.H.I.T.I. serum, Skye is on the mend even if Simmons won’t let her out of the hospital bed yet. Ward drops by for some forced flirting and commends Skye’s stupidity in entering Quinn’s place alone. Her actions have alerted S.H.I.E.L.D. to Mike Peterson’s status as alive and owning a magical leg. Ward agrees to help Skye train harder so next time she won’t have to reply on a miracle drug to save her. In the lab, FitzSimmons is still baffled by Skye’s rapid healing and the drug that caused it.

Not Loki: While Coulson is off trying to track down Nick Fury, May briefs the team on some Asgardian activity S.H.I.E.L.D. wants them to investigate. Fitz, for one, is cool with this because Asgardians are their allies. Ward quips that Loki isn’t and for a brief moment I’m giddy with the thought that maybe Tom Hiddleston’s glorious villain will make a cameo. Alas, no. When the team reaches the site of the readings, the Bifrost opens and Lady Sif appears. And damn if she doesn’t look amazing! I do love Jaimie Alexander as Sif. She would’ve made a great Wonder Woman too.

The Lady Sif: Coulson is elected to speak with Sif, which he assures May he can handle because he’s “fine.” The Cavalry isn’t buying it though, saying “fine doesn’t look like this” and that she’s there for him. My heart sings with the Coul/May feels. SHIP IT AGENTS! Anyway, Sif fills the team in on Lorelei. The siren’s powers only work on men because “men have an inherent weakness we (women) do not share.” This makes Fitz and Ward stammer and shrug in disagreement while May looks on with pleasure.

Photo courtesy of ABC
Photo courtesy of ABC

Phillip, Son of Coul: In a biker bar, Lorelei has ditched her newlywed from last week’s episode for Rooster and his gang. She’s gathering money and men to make her play for world domination. The S.H.I.E.L.D. team prepares for battle with Fitz’s Icer guns, formerly known as night-night guns. Coulson quietly questions Sif about any blue aliens she’s encountered but she has no information to sooth the worries of “Phillip, Son of Coul.”

True seduction: When the team gets to Lorelei’s location they fight off entranced cops and bikers. Sif makes it inside to confront Lorelei but the villainess escapes. She puts the whammy on Ward, who spirits her away on a motorcycle. Onboard the Bus, FitzSimmons gets to work on fixing the collar Sif can use to imprison Lorelei and Skye starts tracking Ward. He’s already made it to Caeser’s Palace in Vegas. There, Lorelei tells him he’ll bring her an army and she’ll give him something in return. By “something,” she obviously means some brainwashed sexy time.

They’ve taken the plane: May and Sif talk about weapons and boys as only two warrior women can. That is, with outspoken reverence for the former and tightlipped skepticism for the latter. Sif reveals that the man she loved was once enchanted by Lorelei. May makes no such confession about Ward but does promise that he can only try to kill her. They storm the hotel room and though the new lovers are gone, May’s pissed off level rises at the sight of the rumpled bed. Back on the plane, Fitz has fixed the collar for Sif but is also under Lorelei’s spell. He locks Sif in the room and Ward, who has commandeered the plane, opens the roof to suck the Asgardian out.

Photo courtesy of ABC
Photo courtesy of ABC

She’s Asgardian!: Ward’s plan to get rid of Sif and take the plane is working. Except he forget that Sif, as Coulson reminds us, is Asgardian and isn’t going to die by being sucked out of a plane. The Lady engages Lorelei in a swordfight brawl while May throws down with Ward. After nearly being taken out by Simmons with the fire extinguisher, Coulson performs some cognitive recalibration on Fitz. Sif corners Lorelei at sword point and slaps on the collar on her before she can be enticed to simply kill the temptress. Ward pulls the trigger pointblank at May but she had already removed the cartridge. He then snaps back to himself but she socks him in the face anyway.

Secret secrets are no fun: May and Coulson get me all excited again by having another heart to heart. He encourages her to talk with Ward about what happened and she (with a hand on his arm) wants Coulson to talk about what he saw in the Guest House. If not with her then with Skye, she says. He takes her advices and fesses up to Skye about the alien source for their miracle cure. She’s stunned but not angry. In fact she’s just grateful to be alive. Coulson is relieved and energized to go after Nick Fury, the “person responsible for all this.” During Coulson’s speech we zoom in on a hidden transmitter. May is listening in and then makes an encrypted call to report, “Coulson knows.” How could you Melinda?!

Field Notes

S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent: “How was Tahiti?”
Coulson: “It sucked.”

Coulson to an angry Sif: “Stay here and try not to punch a hole in my airplane.”

May and Ward have seemingly come to an end. He tries to talk about what happened with Lorelei but she coldly brushes him off, saying, “Seems like we’re done here.” Ouch.

If tonight’s episode was a backdoor pilot/launch for a Lady Sif show or movie, I’m totally in. Jaimie Alexander kicks butt!

Did anyone else think, just for a moment, that Sif and Lorelei were going to be sisters or something? I was getting that vibe.

As much as Skye is growing on me now, the thought of her and Coulson going off on their own to hunt Nick Fury sounds boring and very lacking in some Cavalry. Speaking of…

I cannot wait to see how Melinda May’s “betrayal” comes in to play. Don’t tell me all those Coul/May feels were for nothing Melinda!

Stephanie Coats